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Twitter Titties

October 5, 2018

This one has been coming for a while.

Even though my Twitter profile specifically states that I am married and not looking for dates, the Twitter Titties still insist on following and contacting me. Apparently, they hope for a shot at a date, a sugar daddy, simple company or God only knows what.

I describe a Twitter Titty as a young girl, usually 15 to 22, who trolls the internet looking for any kind of relationship. They all seem to share two things in common: (1) Half nude profile photos (usually with huge pushed-up breasts) taken as selfies in their bedroom with the door closed and their parents in the other room. They all seem to want to emulate Kim Kardashian. (2) They are hopelessly ignorant when writing their profiles and Tweets.

Here are a few actual writing examples taken from some of these would be followers’ profiles:

“I am onest and a god feering woman.”

“I am good fearing and sensitive.”

“I am easy going woman , i want a friendship and see where it’s lead us through…”

“am good and responsible person”

“i am devoted and well educated woman with good moral.”

“Single never married living in New York . I will not send any pictures to someone I don’t know or to sell myself”

“Love what live brings to me… And will. Keep being me”

“I’m very simple and easy going person”

“my hobby is swimming , but i want swim in your heart”

“I’m a God fearing woman that has the fear of God in her”

“I’m new on this site I’m trying to find something in my life that is going to be last and long forever and ever till end of my eternity life.”

“i m hear looking from a serous man that i spend the rest of my life with …. that see the man i m looking”

They all degrade from here. There are so many, many more but I can’t stop laughing long enough to type them out!

My suggestion to all of these young girls would be to first get an education or at least a smattering of one before embarking into the Twittersphere where embarrassment waits at every turn with misspelled words, abhorrent grammar and poorly shot Kardashianesque selfies.

In addition to the  follows, these young “ladies” insist on sending Direct Messages (usually misspelled) that inevitably start with “Hello there” or “Hi handsome.” I don’t mean to be rude or mean but what the hell do these girls think they would do with a man my age; I’m old enough to be their grandfathers and my profile picture is proof enough.

Good luck Twitter Titties! I’m glad to see that most of you are God-fearing and ignorant but that has exactly squat to do with following me on Twitter.

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Read author Allen E. Rizzi’s latest books available at Amazon.com

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8 Comments
  1. I enjoy all your blogs but this one I couldn’t believe! I laughed and (as an English teacher) should have cried but then I thought the writers must be joking.Tell me you didn’t invent those comments.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Celia,
      Unfortunately all the Twitter profiles contained in this blog post are 100% genuine and come from young girls who have followed me. I was also an English teacher and I am equally appalled.

      Like

  2. KiM permalink

    They degrade from there? wow. I pictured a bunch of people in a room spamming people. I bet plenty a guy falls for this, and after they accept the person (who probably does not match the profile pic) a request to start sending money follows. But, hey I could just be skeptical, I don’t even know where on Twitter you see friend request.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Alin, yur funnie. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Here’s another that just came in this morning: “I am sexual lady looking for my life partner to spend the rest of my life with” Of course, that profile description is accompanies by a selfie that is Kardashianesque.

    Like

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