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Twitter Titties

October 17, 2021

Sunday laughs…

allenrizzi

This one has been coming for a while.

Even though my Twitter profile specifically states that I am married and not looking for dates, the Twitter Titties still insist on following and contacting me. Apparently, they hope for a shot at a date, a sugar daddy, simple company or God only knows what.

I describe a Twitter Titty as a young girl, usually 15 to 22, who trolls the internet looking for any kind of relationship. They all seem to share two things in common: (1) Half nude profile photos (usually with huge pushed-up breasts) taken as selfies in their bedroom with the door closed and their parents in the other room. They all seem to want to emulate Kim Kardashian. (2) They are hopelessly ignorant when writing their profiles and Tweets.

Here are a few actual writing examples taken from some of these would be followers’ profiles:

“I am…

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