The Invisible Geezer

Lately I noticed that my telephone calls are seldom returned. It is as if my number has been erased from every phone register world-wide. Yes, it’s true that my older friends still call me back but the younger ones, not so much. But this phenomenon works at cross purposes.

Several years ago, I began crossing off telephone number entries in my phone book. (Yes, being a geezer, I actually have a physical phone book.) There are now more crossed-off entries than those who boldly claim they are still alive. All too often I have dialed-up an old friend only to hear, “Beep, beep, beep. We’re sorry, the number you have dialed is out of service.” I mumble, “Another croaker,” as I cross off yet another entry. It’s a little depressing, really.

Feeling optimistic, I lay out my morning’s underwear the night before. It’s those small repetitions that keep you believing you’re still in the game. It’s as if to say, Swarzenegger style, “I’ll be back!” Morning has regularly come and the only real surprise might be waking to find that my wife is holding a mirror under my nose. But even so, I am thankful that she didn’t use a pillow instead.

I usually get up, have a small home-made  espresso and watch the fake news a bit. Yes, I know the news isn’t really news but when you hit my age you like the background noise. It makes you feel relevant. After breakfast, I am usually off on some errand and that’s where life furthers its rub. I go into a store and immediately I seem to be in everyone’s way. Carts clash, mindless millennials crash into me without so much as an “excuse me” and I once again feel invisible.

When I’m in the market or store, I often feel the genuine need to talk to other shoppers, perhaps just strike-up a friendly conversation. After all people of my generation used to actually talk to each other. It is in these brief moments that I feel alive; I am being seen and being heard. That’s half the battle lately.

Like all invisible geezers, I will soon enough truly become invisible. I will be erased from my friends’ phone books with a mere key stroke, a pencil stroke if they’re my age. In the meantime, what have I left? Just idle thoughts such as the one you are reading now.

Ah, but I have found a unique way of staying off the rolls of the departed. I have written these blog posts in advance so that they will appear years after I’m gone. Crazy? Not really. It’s just that this geezer likes to have the last laugh.

Photo: The Invisible Geezer working a fly on the North Mills River.

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Read author Allen E. Rizzi’s latest books available at Amazon.com