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Hewwo There Wittle Fewwow!

December 7, 2020

One of the questions that constantly vexes me is, “Why does every small child in America talk like Elmer Fudd?” Have genetics gone wild? What happened?

As I child I was treated regularly to Elmer’s odd speech on television. However these were cartoons made to entertain children not serve as a how to for the English language. Where did we go wrong? From the past I can recall such phrases as:

“Be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits!, He-e-e-e-e!”
“Come over here you scwewy wabbit.”
“Why, you wascally wabbit!”
“West and wewaxation at wast!”

But these days, I hear the same thing in every corner of our society. At the market, the youngster pleads with his mother, “Oh pwease, oh pwease can I have the chocowate wabbit?” “I feel vewy wucky to have such a wikable mother.” What the hell? When did all of America start speaking like cartoon imbeciles? Do these poor creatures not learn the proper English language somewhere before they are adolescents?

I think that maybe parents are at fault for encouraging life-long speech impediments by turning their urchins out to pasture on the questionable sustenance of internet and television cartoons. Are all of our children simply waffable wittle wascals who can’t wead, wite or wisten! It looks to me like the education system, both at home and in schools, is a widdle wusty!

The next time you encounter one of America’s little dummies, you may want to say, “Hewwo there wittle fewwow. How’s Elmer and all those waffable wunatics on telewision. Are you getting any smarter or are you just waughing out woud?

Pwease fowwow this bwog by cwicking  fowwow bewow. Your comments are always welcome.

Read author Allen E. Rizzi’s latest books available at Amazon.com

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9 Comments
  1. You wacalwy witer. You gave me a needed smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Timothy Price permalink

    I don’t talk to many children, as there are not many around for me to talk to. However, I would guess government schools is most likely the source of what’s vexing you. The only young children I have talked to recently are home schooled and they all spoke normally. One set of kids was at the vet about a year ago. Those three children ages 3 to 7 were asking about my cat. Since they were engaging me, intelligent and coherent, I assumed they must be home schooled. I asked them, and they were indeed home schooled.

    A young family moved in next door a few months ago. There are 5 children aged 2 to 11. They are home schooled and the kids all talk like normal people. Those are my two anecdotal samples of young children who speak like normal people. Perhaps Elmer Fudd is not part of their education. I don’t believe my neighbor kids spend much watching TV or playing video games. They are outside playing most of the time when I’m home. It warms my heart to hear children outside happily playing and being kids.

    Speaking of kids, the same neighbor has recently acquired three goats. So between the children’s laughing, screaming and babbling at each other, the goats interject their bahahah’s. It’s quite entertaining background noise when I’m outside.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha this is a very funny post. There is probably not too many people that wouldn’t agree that we are spending way too much time on line – that includes the parents too. Pretty funny writing. Joni

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I haven’t run across this problem, but I rarely interact with children. You did make me chuckle, though!

    Liked by 1 person

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