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The Non Stick Pan

September 4, 2020

I am kind of a show me kind of person who is not likely to believe what can’t be proven. I am normally completely immune to television advertising as I know in my heart that if any of those products were any good, they wouldn’t have to advertise them. Right?

Well, that being said, I took an unusual flyer a couple of years ago. For weeks I had been subjected to this cherub of a woman with her magic copper pan. “Bullshit,” I muttered at every commercial. Then over a period of months, I thought that maybe I saw the wisdom of such a pan. We needed a new non-stick pan anyway, so I finally said yes. But wait a minute! I didn’t want the two for one offer and I sure didn’t want to pay a “separate fee,” whatever that was. After some shopping around, I found the same exact pan “as seen on TV” at a local Walmart store. I was able to purchase it without that pesky “separate fee” and be on my way. Let’s call that the “first mistake.”

We took the pan home and handled it like a newborn baby. It did look nice. The shiny copper glowed like an oracle and finally after much anticipation, I decided to give it a try. If you’ve seen the same ad, you know that absolutely nothing sticks to this pan and that it’s probably bullet proof as well. That’s what the chubby little old lady said and I believed her.

I thought I would try running the pan through its paces with something super simple: Two fried eggs and a small piece of ham. Before I initiated the experiment, I carefully read all the instructions including the part that advised not to use cooking oil. I obeyed.  I got the pan up to its prescribed heat and began to cook my simple breakfast.

First I noticed that the ham was sticking but only a bit. Not a problem, I thought. Then I tried to flip an egg for that over easy finish. WTF? It didn’t slide like it did for the lady on TV. I nudged it a bit with my spatula. Nothing! Finally, I had to scrape it up off the pan and make an impromptu scrambled affair out of the whole mess. I served the junk breakfast to an unbelieving wife and we choked it down.

After breakfast, I let the pan cool and attempted to slide out the residue. No dice! That egg and parts of the ham were good and stuck, just like pan from the 1950’s. With some effort I cleaned the pan and set it aside. I was a little heartbroken to be honest. I had such high hopes for my new copper pan; indeed I had expected the promised miracle.

The next time I tried the pan, I had the same results. Now I was pissed. Where was that little old lady? I wanted justice. Then I remembered two old adages: 1) You get what you pay for. 2) If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true.

My brand new, used twice miracle copper pan now sits in its proud position in one of our cupboards as a stark reminder of why I will never buy anything again that I see on TV.

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Read author Allen E. Rizzi’s latest books available at


  1. Hubby wants everything that is on TV, and after several useless items I refuse to let him get them 😤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. KiM permalink

    I fell for it too but ours went in the trash it was so bad.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. And then there is that new hemorrhoid cream . . .

    Liked by 1 person

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