Skip to content

Another Fish Story

June 12, 2020

If you know a fisherman, you’ve probably been subjected to a million fish stories, many of which border on fiction. Often the subject (the fish) is exaggerated to extremes that would amaze even Homer. I offer here a simple fish story from my past without the usual embellishments.

The year was 1999. My wife and I had returned to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for the second time to vacation. Because I am an avid fisherman, we had also planned a fishing trip with a fellow we had met two years earlier. His name was Captain Juan and he had a small boat that he chartered out to tourists like us. It seems to me that the name of the boat was Netuno (Neptune) but I really can’t recall. However I do recall vividly a morning when we went out to seek a marlin.

The day started early or at least it was supposed to. My wife and I had been drinking imprudent amounts of ricia the night before, a local liquor derived of agave and peyote. We got out of bed a little slowly, skipped breakfast and headed to the dock to meet Juan at the agree hour of 6:30 AM. Juan was there and ready but was waiting for his deck hand, a lad named Nemo. We waited together for about an hour and Nemo finally stumbled forth from the buildings that cover the Puerto Vallart seaside like a cocoon.

“Christ, you’re an hour late!” I bellowed. Nemo looked crushed. Meekly, he offered up that his sister had been sick. I knew Nemo fairly well. ”You don’t have a sister,” I retorted. The meekness turned to embarrassment. “No, actually it was my mother,” he finally muttered. I couldn’t help myself. I turned and said, “You probably don’t have one of those either you bullshitter!” After a long moment of silence, the conversation turned to the task at hand: the marlin.

I was keen as the Brits say to land a marlin but moreover I just wanted to get out into that beautiful Pacific Ocean and catch something besides a cold.  We took off into the great bay that surrounds Puerto Vallarta in search of the elusive marlin. We trolled for awhile but nothing was to be seen. Finally, we switched rigs in the hope that an errant Dorado might be patrolling the same waters. After about an hour, bam! Fish on! It wasn’t a huge Dorado but it was my first and I played him determined to land him. I finally did just that. Here I must interject that I am a catch and release fisherman and have been since my youth back in the Neolithic Age. However I was persuaded to kill the fish and bring it back to town for a meal. Having been convinced, I made one of the greatest mistakes in my fishing life. I said, “Great! Let’s take it back to the local restaurant, all have lunch and I’ll buy the beer.”

What followed was pure comedy. After a quick photo dockside, we scuttled off to the local restaurant and had them prepare the Dorado.  It is indeed a delicious and sought after meal. However I soon noticed that people were exiting the restaurant with plates of fish and handfuls of beers. It seemed as though my generosity was being spread throughout the neighborhood of Los Mortes like a lightning bolt. Various folks were porting plates to their mothers, friends and God only know who else but always with a fist full of beers in hand.

As I recall, I had two beers and my wife had two. However, when the tab came due, it was an astonishing $1,100. Yikes! That’s a damn truckload of beer polished-off by the local populace! It was a great meal but the lesson herein for all fishermen is never say, “…. And I’ll buy the beer.”

If you like true fish stories, take a look at my latest book: The Blackest of Canyons and Other Micro Tales of Fly Fishing.

Please follow this blog by clicking follow below. Your comments are always welcome.

Read author Allen E. Rizzi’s latest books available at Amazon.com

”Read

9 Comments
  1. Wow! Now that’s something will record for future travels…thats alot of money 💰 taken by locals.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Quiero una otra cerveza por favor. Y no me gusta cerveza.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Who knew?! 🙂 Very funny story.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lesson learned. I will not be offering to buy the drinks!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Really funny Rizzi. Thanks and much appreciated for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: