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Chiara (Revisited)

April 3, 2020

This is a re-post of Chiara, originally published on June 19, 2014. I still feel the same as I did back then. If only the years would allow me….

When you arrive in the midst of my years, you reflect upon what was done and what was not done and of the quality of your life. I have lived a very rich, full life and I have done, in the main, everything that I wanted to do. Most of my goals have been achieved without regret through hard work and perseverance.

When I was 14 years old, my goal was to become a writer and teacher. I became both at an early age. I also wanted to see the world and so I traveled extensively and even lived in Europe for many years. I wanted the best of wives and after two tries I achieved that goal as well. As I approached my elder years, I constructed various “bucket lists” and scratched off each thing one by one.

However, there remains in my heart one simple task that will elude me forever. All of life I wanted a daughter. After a failed first marriage and the birth of my son, I had high hopes of remarrying and helping bring into this world a little girl. Of one thing I was always certain: she would have the most beautiful of names: Chiara Appolonia Rizzi. I had chosen this name in my youth and the fact that no such sweet daughter exists haunts me a bit every day.

Of the Meghans, Chelseas and Tiffanys, I would still prefer my Chiara Appolonia. Time is often a severe judge. Chiara Appolonia will not be by my side when I leave this world. Perhaps she will be there by the side of some other hopeful father years hence. I hope so.

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14 Comments
  1. Pretty nice name Allen! Apollonia was also the name of the bride in Godfather II! Between my brother and I we have 5 daughters – he has 3 and I have 2 but we have 3 grandsons. My grandson’s name is Clark Cassius Wolf – born the night Trump was elected! So I had a reason to have a Dewars and ice. Best from Florida.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Che bel nome!
    Anch’io avrei desiderato anche una figlia, ma ho avuto due ragazzi, che amo tantissimo.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. L.Roach permalink

    Beautiful post Allen! Love your name choice. I have a wonderful 4th cousin named Chiara (descendant of the Castelfondo Genetti family) who lives in Trento with her family.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks for stopping by. Just got off the phone with two cousins and two friends in the VDN. The Corona Virus has hit there hard. One cousin of mine is in the hospital and another friend just died. Time for prayers!

      Like

      • L.Roach permalink

        Oh dear – Allen that is so sad. I’m very sorry to hear this. So far my cousins and friends are all OK and have been in isolation for about six weeks. I have heard that there are no cases yet in Castelfondo, but many in Val di Non. My sympathies for your loss.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s too sad that there is no Chiara. My dad wanted a “whole baseball team” of daughters, but he only got me. Poor guy.

    I hope your cousin recovers. Condolences on the loss of your friend.

    Liked by 3 people

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    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on allenrizzi and commented:

    Often, late at night, I think of Chiara.

    Like

  7. Beautiful post! It is funny how a name will haunt your thoughts. Just last night I joked with my husband of 38 years about that very thing. We have four children…three boys and one girl. We named my daughter, Jennifer. The last child was a boy, but we had a girl’s name picked out if it turned out to be a girl. We were going to use the name, Amanda. I can’t tell you how many times we think of that. Of course, we adore our son. We just always think that if we had a fifth child, it would have been an Amanda. I have tried to get my children interested in that name for their children!!!! No luck yet!

    Liked by 1 person

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