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Limericks

September 14, 2018

I have always liked these delightful and often crude bits of primitive poetry. Most of us have heard the classics more than once. Normally I don’t go “full political” but I have tried to share the wealth. Here I offer a eleven-pack of my own directed at some of our current political has-beens:

Obama

There once was the POTUS Obama

Whose name rhymed with Osama.

Says he was the best,

And that we should rest

Despite all of his melodrama.

Bush 

We had a POTUS named Bush

Who always sat on his tush.

On a pretzel he choked

And damn near he croaked,

‘Till his pooch came in with a whoosh.

Clinton

There once was an old hag named Hill

Who married a sleaze ball named Bill.

Together they thundered,

Always they plundered,

With all four hands in the till.

Ryan

The RINO Rat named Ryan

Seemed to always be lyin’.

When the voters asked “Please?,”

He reached for his cheese

For which he was never denyin’.

McCain

A traitor so extraordinaire

Always had his head in the air.

A tumor in the brain

Made the end of McCain

And the whole damned RINO affair.

Waters

A sad wig sat upon Waters

As she paid one of her daughters.

She threatened our Trump

And then with a thump

She was gone like immigrant squatters.

Booker

A loony lefty named Booker

Got hysterical just like a hooker.

He’s the Spartacus

So what’s all the fuss?

A Roman slave isn’t a looker.

Harris

A Senator by the name of Kamala

Was awfully hard just to follow.

She ranted and raved

And she misbehaved.

Now she’s off drinking Marsala.

Schiff

There once was a goofball named Schiff

Who got himself into a tiff.

Beginnings to ends

He needed Depends

And found that his anus was stiff.

Schumer

Senator Schumer, Chuck E. Cheese

Always acted like a big sleaze.

With his glasses all bent,

As though heaven-sent,

He found his shorts needed Febreze.

Pelosi

A crazy old hag name of Nance

Couldn’t tell her blouse from her pants.

She confused every name

And who should get blame,

Then wanted to move off to France.

** Okay – I couldn’t help myself. I’m throwing this one in as well:

Warren

A bat crazy old squaw named Liz

Claims she’s an Indian whiz.

She’s full Cherokee

But as we can see,

“Depends on your meaning of is.”

 

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Read author Allen E. Rizzi’s latest books available at Amazon.com

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