Hewwo There Wittle Fewwow!

One of the questions that constantly vexes me is, “Why does every small child in America talk like Elmer Fudd?” Have genetics gone wild? What happened?

As I child I was treated regularly to Elmer’s odd speech on television. However these were cartoons made to entertain children not serve as a how to for the English language. Where did we go wrong? From the past I can recall such phrases as:

“Be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits!, He-e-e-e-e!”
“Come over here you scwewy wabbit.”
“Why, you wascally wabbit!”
“West and wewaxation at wast!”

But these days, I hear the same thing in every corner of our society. At the market, the youngster pleads with his mother, “Oh pwease, oh pwease can I have the chocowate wabbit?” “I feel vewy wucky to have such a wikable mother.” What the hell? When did all of America start speaking like cartoon imbeciles? Do these poor creatures not learn the proper English language somewhere before they are adolescents?

I think that maybe parents are at fault for encouraging life-long speech impediments by turning their urchins out to pasture on the questionable sustenance of internet and television cartoons. Are all of our children simply waffable wittle wascals who can’t wead, wite or wisten! It looks to me like the education system, both at home and in schools, is a widdle wusty!

The next time you encounter one of America’s little dummies, you may want to say, “Hewwo there wittle fewwow. How’s Elmer and all those waffable wunatics on telewision. Are you getting any smarter or are you just waughing out woud?

Pwease fowwow this bwog by cwicking  fowwow bewow. Your comments are always welcome.

Read author Allen E. Rizzi’s latest books available at Amazon.com